mapcow

shoe pick little pr1ck
where does his dick stick
in a hole which all men like to lick
or in the hole that stinks like sh1t
me thinks the latter which is ick
but shoe pick thinks oh well this sh1t is quick

foreverfan

Pic... American's have little choice. Demo and Reps. Are two sides of the same evil coin.
Not for discussion on this thread.

WhoDat!656

A beautiful fairy appeared one day before a destitute Mexican refugee outside an Arizona immigration office. “Good man,” the fairy said, “Since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and eight children, I’ve been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes.”

The man told the fairy, “Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe with a lot of gold in them.”

The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and PING! he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

“What else?” asked the fairy, “Two more to go.”

The refugee claimant now got bolder. “I need a big house with a three-car garage on the water in Annapolis with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here.” PING! in the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three-car garage, a long driveway and a spectacular patio with a barbecue in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay.

One more wish,” said the fairy, waving her wand.

“Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn clothes and a baseball cap instead of this sombrero. And I want to have white skin like Americans.” And PING! the man was transformed, wearing worn-out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.

“What happened to my new teeth?” he wailed. “Where’s my new house?”

The fairy said, “Tough sh!+, amigo, now that you’re a white American, you have to fend for yourself.”

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."

WhoDat!656

The bathroom is ready!

WhoDat!656

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic Garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and See if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. “ Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right Into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you Know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my Hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I Surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.’

“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck!

Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Not everybody pays.”

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."

Crusader

Its true, alcohol kills people.
But how many are born because of it?

Crusader

My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.
So I came back drunk.

papz

papz

WhoDat!656

Little Johnny went to kindergarten one day wearing an Atlanta Hawks hat.

His teacher asked why he was a Hawks fan.

Little Johnny said, "Because my parents are!"

His teacher said, "What would you be if you Dad was a drug dealer and your Mom was a hooker?"

Johnny replied, "I would be an Atlanta Falcons fan!"