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Joke of the Day

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; A German woman married an American gentleman and they lived happily ever after in his home town. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she ...

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Old 06-07-2013, 08:44 PM   #631
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Re: Joke of the Day

A German woman married an American gentleman and they lived happily ever after in his home town.

The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher counter and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... scroll down.







Her husband speaks English....hellooo!

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
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Old 06-07-2013, 09:02 PM   #632
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Re: Joke of the Day

Also known as...
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Old 06-09-2013, 04:39 AM   #633
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Re: Joke of the Day

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.

As they walk, they come across a sign: “Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world. “I am entering” said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, “Well, how’d ya do? “ First Place ,” said Snow White...and Pinocchio and Superman congratulated Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign: “Contest for the strongest man in the world.” “I’m entering,” says Superman. After half an hour he returns and they ask him, “How did you make out?” “ First Place ,” answers Superman. “Did you ever doubt?” Again, congratulations from the other two.

They continue walking when they see a sign: “Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?” Pinocchio says “this is mine” Half an hour later, he returns with tears in his eyes. “What happened?” asked Snow White and Superman. “Who the hell is Obama?” asked Pinocchio.
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"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
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Old 06-10-2013, 09:12 AM   #634
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Re: Joke of the Day

David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex...


#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.
#09... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#08... It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#07... Foursomes are encouraged, even some threesomes.
#06... You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#05... Three times a day is possible.
#04... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#03... If you live in Florida , you can do it almost every day.
#02... You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.
And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....
#01... When your equipment gets old you can replace it!
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Old 06-11-2013, 03:50 AM   #635
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Re: Joke of the Day

A prostitute told me she'd do anythig for $10.

Guess who just got his car washed?
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Old 06-11-2013, 04:28 AM   #636
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Re: Joke of the Day

My lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday.
They gave me a Rolex.

I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch".
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Last edited by Crusader; 06-11-2013 at 10:55 AM..
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Old 06-11-2013, 12:14 PM   #637
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Re: Joke of the Day

Old Boudreaux died and went to the pearly gates. St. Pete was just waiting for him to get there. When they met up, St. Pete said, "Whoa, Boudreaux, I can't let you pass through the gates until you answer three questions." Old educated Boudreaux say, "Go ahead, St. Pete, give me your best shot," St. Pete say, "O.K., Boudreaux, question number one. How many seconds do they have in a year?" Boudreaux say, "Aw, that's easy, St. Pete, twelve." St. Pete say, "Boudreaux, how did you get twelve?" Boudreaux say, "Jan second, Feb second, etc." St. Pete say, "Boudreaux, that's not quite what I'm looking for, but I'll let you slide. Question number two. How many days do they have in a week?" Boudreaux say, "That's easy, St. Pete, two." St. Pete say, "Boudreaux, where you get two from?" Boudreaux say, "Today and tomorrow." St. Pete say, "Boudreaux, that's not quite what I'm looking for. Now Boudreaux, this last question you have to get it right or I can't let you into heaven. Who is our father?" Boudreaux say, "That's easy, St. Pete, Howard." St. Pete say, "Where did you get Howard from, Boudreaux?" "Our father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.
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Old 06-11-2013, 12:16 PM   #638
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Re: Joke of the Day

One day Boudreaux saw Thibodeaux and asked him why he was so bruised up. Thibodeaux replied that he had been riding a bull, and his foot got stuck when he fell off. The bull kept dragging him around until the Wal-Mart manager came and unplugged it.
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Old 06-11-2013, 06:46 PM   #639
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Re: Joke of the Day

BREAKING NEWS!

Walt Disney's new film called "Jet Black" (the non-racist version of "Snow White") has been put on hold.
All of the 7 dwarfs : Dealer, Stealer, Mugger, Car Jack, Drive By, Pimp and MoFo, have refused to sing "Hi Hoe"
They also say they have no intention of "Going off to work".

Last edited by foreverfan; 06-11-2013 at 06:55 PM..
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Old 06-12-2013, 05:07 AM   #640
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Re: Joke of the Day

Originally Posted by foreverfan View Post
BREAKING NEWS!

Walt Disney's new film called "Jet Black" (the non-racist version of "Snow White") has been put on hold.
All of the 7 dwarfs : Dealer, Stealer, Mugger, Car Jack, Drive By, Pimp and MoFo, have refused to sing "Hi Hoe"
They also say they have no intention of "Going off to work".
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